the best of both worlds

so i have been going through some things that have made me change my thinking a little bit. one thing i have been thinking through is what the difference is between unashamed faith and stubborn and unwaivering thinking is. i have come to a decision at least in my example that i am working through. it all depends on what it is in.

i have had a hard time understanding if my calling is true. many thoughts and impressions go through my head that give me doubt if i truly have been called into God's service. it is quite a painful place to be, where you doubt everything you have done your whole life, that it has been a mistake and that you have wasted time and effort when you think it is all worthless.

the good news is that i know now that it isn't true for me. God has given me a whole bunch of talents, has put me into action and given me experiences that continue to to draw me into His service. i cannot help but exclaim the awesome power and love of God to those around me. He deserves all of me and every thought and every breathe i have.

if you are in a place where you doubt your place in this world where you don't feel adequate or feel God is firmly directing you and you want His guidance, have patience and He will always prove Himself faithful. we have many examples, heroes and forefathers who have gone through the same thoughts, fights and doubts that we all have today.

even take the example of Elijah, a great man of faith who accomplished a lot in the name of the Lord, read 1 Kings 19:4, and see the doubts that ran through his mind. he felt inadequate, his ministry failing, and in all, his life worthless (this was even after the miracle of burning of the alter verse the prophets of baal). but after shaking it off, his ministry thrived and was blessed and used by God greatly. that is stubborn faith. how i desire to have that type of stubborn faith!!

may i trust in You always, Yahweh, my breathe, my life and my reason!

Romans 3:3-4, Psalm 31, Isaiah 26:4-8.

"I Still Believe" by Jeremy Camp, "I Will Lift my Eyes" by Bebo Norman.

'Breathe' by Rob Bell

pressed but not crushed

it is not always the easiest to maintain composure in a world that always seems to be against you. God never promises safety, riches, ease, or luxury in being a servant of Him. His promises, His blessings are given to those who endure, those who long after Him, those as it says in Hebrews, run in way as to finish, not just get by.

what a promise! what a hope we have!

but here's where it gets tricky, what do we do in the meantime? how does our future and hopeful outlook effect our everyday lifestyle? how does it effect our daily life especially when we feel trampled, overlooked, depressed, dreading our own day of birth?

Paul knowingly told those he wrote to about the trials that will surround them as believers, being beaten, ridiculed, and worst of all, ostracized and left alone. one of the greatest passages in which Paul describes this comes in his third letter to the Corinthian church (as we know, 2 Corinthians) and talks about how believers should view their time of distress. in chapter 4, his words describe how yes we are tempted, we are tested, we are enclosed, we are pushed to our extremes, but we are not left alone.

it specifically talks about the death of Jesus is working through us. i don't know about you, but the dying process does not feel good at all. even at my young, immature and naive age, i can feel the process slowly debilitating me. but it isn't for fun that we must have this death work through us, it is for a specific purpose, that His life also be at work in us and be revealed through our mortal body.

as much as that is not fun for those of you still reading this, it is what we must do and go through. i don't know if all of you know the turmoil i am in, but definitely feel pressed, perplexed, struck-down and the like. i only say that to tell you not to have pity for me, but to learn from me, that in the middle of feeling left alone, challenged beyond your conceivable logic, or even stressed to the point of crying, that we carry with us as Paul wrote prior to those verses, we have a treasure within us, the all-surpassing power of God.

one last scripture that gives me hope is found by someone i will hope to call friend, David. his message in Psalm 34:17-22 reminds me of God's promise to fulfill those who follow, those who serve and to those who prove themselves faithful.

Abba, may i be seen righteous in your eyes . . . .

. . . . Jehovah Rophe, i look to you.