the big decisions

it seems to me that it is a crucial time in my life. looking to the future, there are many possibilities and many decisions to be made that could very well shape my life until kingdom come.

these are neat places to be in because of the many doors that could be open. i really look forward to sorting out the things ignite me, enthrall me, make me complete, those passions i cannot live without.

at the same time, it very easily can slip into anxiety just because (if you're anything like me) you can't narrow anything out because you you feel drawn to all of them to some degree.

i am reminded about a little saying in from an old doctor or the more famous quote of a an old IRS agent where it talks about being responsible with what is given to you.

without a doubt, that scares me.

it frightens me because i know what has been given to me, and i am quite conscious with what i've done with them so far. and as you've probably read, those that did not respect what was given to them were treated quite harshly, as well as deservingly. there are many days in which i desire i wasn't given so much so a) i can focus upon a singular focus and b) i wouldn't have to worry on how and what i'm doing all the time. now don't miss quote me, i am very grateful for all that is given to me and all that i am, there are just moments where i would rather not feel spread thin.

but living the life of gratitude is hard, but also very fulfilling. as i said before, i cannot wait to see where these decisions lead me in this next year or so, but i hope that you look forward to those decisions that shape your life, cause you don't usually get a second chance at them. see them, accept them, tackle them if needed, and run with them because you have been given a great opportunity ahead of you. it may seem really difficult, or even too big for you to deal with, but you are not alone in your time of need. God can always strengthen you in you weakness, pick you up when you have stampeded, and fill you when you feel completely empty.

that tree will fall if you want it to.