a weird nervous twitch

so lately i find myself doing an unusual habit to consume my mind. it used to be the simple immature guy thing to just get lost in video games, or when the weather is above fricking freezing, doing some sports outside. but for some reason, i have added a new type of release.

food.

but not what you think . . . . i know some people find relief in "comfort foods" and just going to town on a gallon of ice cream per se. been there, done that, who hasn't? it isnt that. i've been cooking like a mad man.

i've made a total of three meals this week, of which any one could feed me for a week. why? boredom? new adventures in the culinary world? watching to much food network? all of which could viably be an answer. but i believe there is something else driving such a weird quirk.

a few special people know that there is a certain new thing that i am stressing about, that is freaking me out. not scared, but very very very anxious, excited, giddy, but at the same time very frightened, afraid, and vulnerable.

i like escaping, freeing my mind from the continual barrage i put myself through, over thinking everything and re-evaluating to the Nth degree. that's why soccer was nice to me, a little round ball can captivate me and give me an ideal escape. now i substitute my island of grass and nets to focusing on the harmony of ingredients, an intoxicating smell, and consumable finished product.

i wonder why we all long for an escape. we all do it in some form or another. some have super heros, some have fantasies through their novels, some use alcohol or other substances, some workout till their bodies are physically exhausted enough until all we can feel is the drained pain of our muscles.

what is yours? how do you cope with your stress?

is it something that is conscious decision or is it an involuntary reflex? is it healthy emotionally? is it healthy spiritually? As Jesus says it is not good for us to continue to carry on our own troubles, problems and concerns. But notice one thing He doesn't say, He never says "carry absolutely nothing."

we are not be careless, having no concerns. that section ends with the idea of us carrying His yoke, yoke symbolizing His work, His toil, His concerns. we are to replace them, not get rid of them completely. His are much easier to care for, to attribute and to carry out. love God, and love others. simple.

we are even supposed to look out for each other, as Paul has said. read that line, that we fulfill everything Jesus came down here for as we look and care for each other's struggles. awesome.

this is all to say, don't wallow alone. don't think that no one feels pain, or no one else ever struggles the way you do. we all find a daily struggle that can consume us, whether it be dealing with abandonment from family members, wondering about where your next job will be, or even anxiety about future possibilities. confide in each other, reach out to those who lay quiet because they most likely are the ones that hurt the most, and all they look for is someone to listen. i know because i've been there.

Psalm 46; Prov. 12:25; Philippians 4:6-7; 2 Timothy 1:7