im perfect!

isnt it amazing how full of myself i am! but sometimes, the truth just has to be said. i am exactly what the titled says, im perfect!

ok so you who actually know me, know i don't normally speak like this, so there has to be a reason behind it, right? well yeah, you guessed it, spoiler!

isn't it amazing how one little space changes the whole meaning of a phrase. for instance, im perfect! become imperfect! and in reality, that is what i actually am. as much as i always try to do the right thing, show the good side of me off, lead by example, there is always another side that never seems to be spoken off or ever found out. and the worst part is i have had 27 years of hiding my faults and insecurities, so long that i have practically perfected the hiding technique to the point where im quite certain EVERY person i have EVER come into contact with does not know the whole me. isn't that a sad thing to say. and yet i still always seem to be ok with who i am and who i continue to be.

as much as i am able to be my solitary self here on earth, it still freaks me out that i still don't know myself as well as God does. As the Bible reminds us constantly, God not only knows us better than ourselves, He also cares for us much more than we do, more than we ever can imagine. i have walked this so called christian life for some time now, and i still don't believe i have totally grasp the "infinite" aspect of God's love. it really is a raging love that runs over everything to get to you, a consuming hug that envelopes you, your faults, your insecurities, your potential, your dreams, your accomplishments, and even you blatant hatred for who He is. just think about that, it is repeated that Jesus died for all, so that means the man/woman who on a daily basis curses at God, all He does is look down, open His arms trying to reach out to grab them and surround them. this is how that despite our best efforts to separate ourselves from God by doing what we feel is good, and make us happy, not only does God not flinch or move, He actually tries to move closer towards us. we are His creation, His beloved. our lives are not meaningless or inconsequential, it doesnt matter how we look, if we're skinny or fat, if we're popular or outcasts, what we're addicted to, all it comes down to is that God loved us first, before it all, before we ever formed a word in our mouth, before our first breathe of oxygen into our fresh new lungs, and He will continue to consume us with His love until our dying breathe.

wow.